but not for her...?
The next topic we looked at during the Being Bad course was Masturbation. We looked at the origins of the word and then everyone took part in a group survey.
One thing that I observed during the lecture that i thought id write about is the reaction of the group to the more mature members of the group. I don't wish to make anybody feel uncomfortable if that applies to you, but i defiantly noticed a different reaction from the people around me. When younger members of the group spoke about masturbating, all i heard was quiet or laughing depending on what was said. However when the more mature women contributed to the discussion and gave their thoughts as to why women masturbate, people begun to laugh in a different way, almost sniggering. I saw people pulling faces to their friends that said "eww", or "too much information."
Is masturbation reserved for young people?
Thinking about it on the way home I couldn't think of any examples from films, books or television of an older person masturbating or talking about it. The stereotypical image seems to be a young, slightly nerdy guy playing with himself alone in his bedroom and then hiding the tissues behind his bed. The only example remotely relevant that sprung to mind were the women of Sex and the City.
The show, which made "The Rabbit" vibrator famous, featured 4 women who often spoke of sex and masturbation. I remember one show where one of the characters Samantha was complaining because the batteries to her vibrator had run out. The show was very popular, and still is, with a movie due out soon, so could be used to show that there isn't a prejudice about the older generation masturbating? However its my theory that this is only so because the women are portrayed as glamorous and sexy despite their age. They are also for the most part single and dating, living the lifestyle of somebody much younger.
Also, the book that the show is based on featured characters who were of the age of the women who appeared in the first series. As the show was re-commissioned each series, the characters had to get older. For example, Charlotte York's D.O.B. is listed as 14/07/1967, meaning in the pilot episode from 1998 she was only 31 years old. By the time the show ended in 2004, Charlotte would have been 37, and the other 3 women well into their forties, Samantha being almost. My point is, I don't know had the characters been introduced to us as the ages they were during the last series, if it would have been as acceptable or raised more eyebrows. I think there was a reason the author Candace Bushnell created characters in their thirties. http://www.annsummers.com/single.asp?gid=7&cat=2&pid=2409
It seems that in a society where the older generation having sex is a taboo, the older generation masturbating is an even bigger one.
I keep reminding myself to always address the reasons behind bad behaviour. I actually do not think masturbation is bad unless it takes over a persons life. Many of us begin experimenting at a young age, just look at our group survey results! This tells me that it is completely natural. Humans have natural urges...we need to eat, drink water, sleep, and in my opinion have sex. Masturbation is a form of sex, and there are benefits. For example, somebody who has a greater awareness of their body...where they enjoy being touched, what turns them on, and stimulates them sexually, is likely to be a much greater lover than somebody who lacks that awareness.
There is one other context in which i would say masturbation is bad, and that's illustrated perfectly in a story shared by Michelle in her blog that can be found here- http://cant1touch1this.blogspot.com/index.html#8982854665589182330
Masturbating in a public area in front of children playing can never be right, as i make clear in the comment i left.
4 comments:
I've been masturbating since I was 12. I'm 67 now, still doing it, and not blind or crazy...yet. Truly one of the joys of life in my most humble and ancient opinion! Just don't tell any of my famiiy or close friends, okay? Agreed that it should be done in private and definitely not in public. Other than that...ENJOY (at any age!)
I totally agree that masturbation is maybe stereotyped and its more acceptable for the more younger generation. But in Mikes comment that at his age he is still masturbating and enjoying it shows that masturbation isn't for a specific 'age. I dont see any harm in maturbating if it's what you want to do, i don't see why others should feel disgusted if you get to an age where they see it's wrong.
Well good, there is another topic we both agree on, along with our movie favourites...hehe! I would like to also state that, masturbation is a perfectly normal aspect of our sexuality and nature. Every single creature on this planet does it; from animals to humans, from adults to teenagers. Actually it is also well known the fact that, infants have an extreme sexuality and tend to “play” with their sexual organs during the first years after birth. Would you consider them as immoral, corrupted or bad? Personally, I find my story rather funny but also a fine example that masturbation is in our nature no matter age, ethnicity or sex. At the age of 12 I learn that, what I was doing with myself and felt so much shame all the time, was actually called masturbation; and was something that everybody, even my parents and grandparents, seemed to discuss it in the shadows. In contrast, as you and Michelle said masturbation in public and especially in the presence of children sounds like a pervert running loose and it just makes me sick. On the other hand I argue that, masturbation is not always bad in the view of others. There are people who may enjoy watching or be watched. They have unconventional sexual tastes and seek to expand their erotic spectrums in different ways. I believe that, as long as, it is a consent act between free thinking and critical reasoning adults, it must be tolerated and accepted even if we may not agree or identify with their attitudes. From my point of view, there are people that no one can or should try to shape or fix. I would not judge someone who likes to masturbate in front of others as long as the others are there to watch... What people may do in the privacy of their home, alone or with company, is no one’s concern; but in a public place in front of children for God sakes…?
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